Friday, February 26, 2010
Day Two: where no disaster happened.
Day Two of blogging: and nothing happened. Thank you, thank you. No earthquake that swallowed up my family, no angry mob of neighbors carrying torches to kick my door down. No nasty comments of what a stupid idiot I am and what makes me think I'm an empress when I sound like a hag and who names their kids names like that anyway. Whew.
For about a year now, I've wanted to start a blog. But fear of criticism, rude comments, too much of my business out there, has held me back. Becoming semi public, my words up for grabs and open to public viewing? Why would this be enough to control my actions? I'd begin, I'd go to blogger.com, only to X out again, and not begin anything. All the negative, discouraging self talk of, "you don't know enough, you're not one of those hi-tech mamas...you can't. You'd look stupid, and everyone could see how little you know." Those thoughts right there? are the thoughts I let determine my actions.
I've grown tired of FEAR determining if I do things or not. When you get older, you get introspective like that.
But, nothing happened since yesterday. And that is A-OK. I knocked one thing off the bucket list, and so I say, Carpe Diem!
Labels:
About The Empress,
In the beginning,
mental health
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Here we go, Day One. What can happen, right?
So, here we go.
Day One.
What can happen, right?
Why am I so nervous??
If you do visit here, you'll pick up that I'm really freaked out by doing something wrong--always. And, I'm also afraid of a lot of things. Blogging, for instance. I finally don't want to let me being afraid of blogging, stop me.
No more. A new me..."FEAR??! You no longer have a hold on me!" See? I'm blogging...
I have begun to blog.
I have my niece as my guaranteed commenter. She promised.
Whether you know me or not, it'll be great for me to finally have a place for you to come visit.
I've visited blogs for about three years now. I never had a place to say, "Hey, come visit me now."
Now I do.
Maybe that's what makes me nervous. It was pretty easy to set this up, you guys. You know what they say about things seeming too easy. There must be a catch! So far, this is pretty pretty easy. I can't believe how easy. So, what's the catch, right? Scary easy, like any nimrod could do it. ANY.
The best reason for me to blog is that I have a feeling there are people out there, I just have this need to know. People like me, that need to read, that can't read enough. That find company in others' words. I visit so many blogs now, and count on the words of these bloggers daily. They have added happiness and joy to my days here, and they make me happy and keep me from feeling alone on so very many days.
I want to do that very same thing for people, too--make them laugh, smile, find acceptance, have a place to stop in--as they work through their day.
That sentence makes me realize how much I miss working, the gathering around the coffee pot before we all hit our desks for the day. I miss the people.
A blog is like the coffee pot at work; catching up, saying hi, and not feeling like we're on our own out here. It's really nice to have a place to talk.
I think this is going to be fun. I'm having fun already, right now. But I do feel a little bit dumb. I'm not even talking to anyone yet (can I really be that simple minded? Oh, cripes...) I love to write, always, I love to write.
In other words, What can happen, right?
Carpe Diem! (I think it'll be symbolic to end each post with a carp and say carpe diem... my kids, not so much, they say stop ... but I like it.)
*Not really liking the italics... I've seen them used on other blogs. But, maybe I'll keep it to dialogue. (yeah, right... like I'm going to be dialoguing myself now) I will work on that after I see what text choices I have. Ha, listen to me, like it'll be easy. ... that'll eat up two hours of my day (wish I were kidding... )
signed,
I am THE dork at the keyboard.
Ready. Set. [sweaty palms] and... PUBLISH.
*
(omg you guys, I did it)
Labels:
About The Empress,
In the beginning,
mental health
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