Setting: typical homeschooling morning. Kitchen table.Baby E: "Mom, can we go to the park now?"
Me: "No. You know we have to finish math before we do anything at all today. Remember I told you that this morning?"
Baby E: "Can we do only half math? Can we have a light day of school? And then go to the park?"
Me: "No. We have to do a full day of school today. We had two field trips last week, and we have to get caught up. We don't, I don't, want to be doing school in June. Now, let's get this math going or else 6 PM will be here before we know it and we'll still be sitting here with this book open."
Baby E: "Can I have some skittles while I do my math?"
Me: "Absolutely no more sugar today. That's why you keep jumping in and out of your seat. Done. Sugar is done for today. No more sugar. And we have to eat lunch before we have any snacks, anyway. That's the rule."
Baby E: "Can you make pancakes for lunch?"
Me: " I already set up lunch for today, last night. We're all ready to eat as soon as you finish your math. No pancakes. Math, then lunch."
Baby E: "If I finish all my math, will you give me a prize?"
Me: "No. No--now, please, settle down, stay put, and let's get going on your math. And let's finish it."
Baby E: "Mom, can I just take a little break now? To get my wiggles out?"
Me: "Alright. Take a break ---but a quick one---and get your wiggles out. So that they're all out. Then, it's math. Math. And nothing but math. And I can hear you if you try to sneak into the skittles, so don't even try."
Sweet, sweet quiet ensues for the next 20 minutes.
Me: "Alright, honey. Time to get back at it..."
Baby E: "Mom. Look. I made a new comic strip. I'm using you as the model for the super villain. His name is Phantasmo, and he's the ruler of good mixed with evil. See, he's saying, "I must do what I must do..." His cape is a flaming skull and cross bones, like a pirate ship.
This is you coming...the flaming skull and cross bones that's on fire in the sky.
I'm drawing a moustache on you...I mean him."
Me: "You know what? I think skittles at the park sounds like a great idea right about now...let's go. We can double up on math tomorrow."
Maybe there was some geometry involved in the careful creation of the cape??
ReplyDeleteHa!
ReplyDeleteAnd is it weird that now I want Skittles? I love those things.
Don't you just love the way they negotiate and manipulate!?! Little lawyers. And somehow we fall for their tricks. LOL. Hope you had a good time at the park. It's been so nice out these days!
ReplyDeleteOooh...he's a good one...that kid. :-)
ReplyDeleteSometimes homeschooling seems glamorous - you can perfectly control what they learn. But at the same time it's soooo much work! I just drop mine off at school and say - learn little birdies .... learn and be free (or at least I will be free).
ReplyDeleteBut the curriculum is much more strict in France (I know someone who skipped his first year at Tufts because he had a french high school diploma) - so my job as a mom is to make sure they have as much fun as possible to make up for all that hard work. It's a Tufts job, but someone's gotta do it.
I guess there is no other course of action in that scenario, but to prove your benevolence.
ReplyDeleteOk I'm not sure if I should report you to the home school police or tell you that I would have gone to the park,too. :))
ReplyDeleteMaybe you can do math with Skittles while you sit in the park.
Awww...I would have done the same...hes a smarty...and too cute as well..!
ReplyDeleteOur kids are just geniuses!
ReplyDeleteAwesome blog! I'm definitely gonna hang around here. Hope you don't mind :)
Can you say "guilt trip"? Ha!!
ReplyDeleteOh, he is just adorable!! I'd say he gets an A for negotiating!! How about turning Skittles into a math lesson? The part about turning you into a villain and drawing a mustache on you, err, him, was priceless! I've always been curious about homeschooling and how mothers do it and I love this little window into a "typical" day. :-)
ReplyDeleteHe's going to make a great salesman someday. :)
ReplyDeleteThat's awesome. Today, I got "Mom, I came down to ask you a question, but you were asleep." (quiet time for littles, school time for olders, naptime for Momma...YESSS!) "I need help on number 4."
ReplyDeleteWHA?!?!?
Awesome blog! Not sure how you found me today, but I'm glad you did!
I can totally relate. And that's why my heart veers closer to unschooling/relaxed homeschooling. We're doing more structure now too, but some days it seems like pure lunacy to sit there and force math when what they really want to do is create a comic. Who says there's not a ton of learning in that? Art, language, writing, spelling...math will come around another day.
ReplyDeleteThis was SO cute! I just love your blog, and I'm so glad you found me!!
ReplyDeleteI know how he feels...I'd do anything to avoid math!
Hey! I saw you on Life Without Pink. I am a Mom of 3 boys. All of us pinkless females need to band together. For sanity, I think.
ReplyDeleteAnd man, I totally relate with the "will you give me a prize?" thing. Somedays it's like "Mom, I'm breathing. Will you get me a prize?" What about Mom's prize?!
I think math is overrated anyway! Hope you had fun at the park!
ReplyDeleteHe is full of life! I hated math and still do and would do anything to get away from it.....
ReplyDeleteI was SO hoping for the park and Skilttles! I guess I am just like your student!!!!
ReplyDeleteYeah!!!!
"get my wiggles out" - how precious is that! And skittles...you rock, mom!
ReplyDeleteI must say you were outfoxed!! Nothing like turning your Evil Overlord Math Obsessed Teacher -- oops I mean MOM -- into a supervillain to get what you want! : )
ReplyDeleteThis just demonstrates to me why I could never ever homeschool my child.
And funny he was eating Skittles ... he might want to check out my post today as I mention how I envision the word Skittles being used from now on. It isn't pretty.
I bet you'll look really good with a mustache! I love baby e. That is one cook kid.
ReplyDeleteThanks for swinging by and making my SITS day so wonderful. Your time and words mean the world to me.
Lots of yummy love,
Alex aka Ma What's For Dinner
www.mawhats4dinner.com
I'm just impressed that you get him to learn anything. I would die trying...
ReplyDeleteso sweet and adorable and touching and a little disturbing? And such a nice reminder as to why I COULD NEVER HOMESCHOOL.
ReplyDeleteThis is hilarious. I love reading/hearing snippets of conversations with kids. Always highly entertaining and always humbling.
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by my blog - I'm glad you did because here I am, laughing and enjoying myself on yours.
And that's why I love homeschooling. Awesome!! Skittles and park. Double math tomorrow. What could be better for a pirate/mom and baby emperor, right?
ReplyDeletetoo funny!
ReplyDeleteWell you just have to award him an 'A' for persistence and ingenuity!
ReplyDeleteThe ruler of good mixed with evil - brilliant! You are obviously an excellent teacher :).
ReplyDeleteExhibit A of why I could never homeschool - it would be Skittles and Park all day, every day.
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely NO self control.
I should be doing the dishes, yet here I am. Fabulous role model, no?
My kids are so manipulative when it comes to candy! They are only in preschool though, so we don't have homework and all that to deal with just yet...
ReplyDeletei think I'd be most upset about the mustache.
ReplyDeleteYou are a good woman. I can barely get through homework without screaming and tearing out my hair mostly because of the wiggles.
I hope someone offers me Skittles and the park today. That would just be the best.
I think you'd look good with a mustache and cape. I know I would.
ReplyDeleteThis post makes me want to eat skittles, read a comic book and TAKE A NAP!
I'm pretty sure this means your child is a genius. you know baby E is thinking "mission accomplished!" i love this, totally made me laugh.
ReplyDeletelol. maybe i should have drawn comic strips for my mom...flaming skulls...i think this one has got hidden talents. smiles.
ReplyDeleteYour kids are going to be my boss someday.
ReplyDeletehilarious! yeah, if my kids were drawing mustaches on evil villains based on me, I would go to the park too.
ReplyDeletekids are capable of anything or everything.
ReplyDeletelovely post1
Your children are genius!
ReplyDeleteYou are amazing - homeschooling? Seriously amazing.
Bahahahahahaha!!! Personally, I'm too pretty to do math! And your cape matches my skull sneakers....the ones that other Moms give me dirty looks for wearing to pick my kids up at Catholic school....
ReplyDelete:-D
Hey, there, Empress Alexandra! May I just say I'm so glad you left a comment today at 4Ps so I could then follow the breadcrumbs and discover your wonderful blog! Love it! Your Baby E reminds me of Lawson, who'll come up with the craziest things to make me smile. I look forward to more stories. ;)
ReplyDeleteLori@ 4Ps and
www.hintonrae.wordpress.com
LOL Future lawyer perhaps?
ReplyDeletehi from the tmc! if only there was such a thing as half math... :)
ReplyDeleteHa! Not as different from public school as I would expect! Except the snack is goldfish instead of skittles. I'd have used the skittles for a math lesson, if possible! And the comic strip for English/Language Arts! :)
ReplyDeleteoh. the darling. way to go man. way to get the candy and park! keep up the good work.
ReplyDeletelove homeschooling.....
Thank you to all who commented on Baby E., and I know, I know, the boy plays me like a fiddle.
ReplyDeleteWell, you see, it works. But, then, it's not so hard since I'm the one who loves the skittles in the park. But, we've got to get some work done sometime, or nosey neighbors get nosey and start asking weird questions, like, "how come they're always at the park eating skittles?"
You're all so great and make me happy!
HAAAA!! I loved this!! How smart is he???
ReplyDeleteSounds like you are an awesome teacher!!!!
He is clearly smart already..everyone knows math is clearly less interesting and valuable than park time. LOL.
ReplyDeleteYou are so good and that is a smart boy! When I homeschooled my oldest in high school I complained more about the math than she did! I would have been drawing her as the villain for making me stay home and learn Algebra all over again.
ReplyDeleteThey are really tricky at the negotiating table, aren't they? That youthful charm and wit are in fallible!
ReplyDeleteThat's hilarious. He's good...really good. Was it the moustache that got you?
ReplyDelete