What It's Like Giving A Spelling Test To A Boy

SETTING: Kitchen table, typical homeschool morning. Baby E and I sitting together:.

ME: "Alright, Baby E, we need to get our review spelling test done first thing this morning...."

BABY E: "Noooooooooo......[groan groan] I want to do it later. Can I at least keep my Bumblebee costume on? It helps me think faster and better."


ME: "Yes. Yes. Keep it on. We're going to do the review first now, so that way it gets done, then we can do the fun stuff you like later."

BABY E: "Alright..."

ME: "OK, now, remember, I'll say your spelling word first, then you give me back the word using it in a sentence, to show me you know what it means. So, I'll say the word, then you repeat it and use it in a sentence, then the last step is to spell it. That way I know that you understand the meaning of it, and not just how it's spelled. Ready? Let's go..."

ME: "First word: COT."

BABY E: "COT. The kid was COT stealing candy. COT."

ME: "No..no..no..COT. A small bed.."

ME: "Baby E, are you sure you studied?"


BABY E: "Uhhh...yeah, kinda..what do you mean by study?"

ME: "Never mind. Next word: CUFF.

BABY E: "CUFF. "Cuff 'em, guys" said the policeman."

ME: "OK *sigh* .. . alright, I'll take it. Next word: CUT."

BABY E: "Oh! Goody! "The man was all CUT and bleeding blood from trying to get out of the handCUFFS!" CUT. I used two of the words, mom!"

ME: "Hmmm...Ok, let's just keep going...next word:.GAS."

BABY E: [titter titter teehee teehee *sighing*] " GAS!" [titter titter] "I have.... GAS!" [explosive laughter]

ME: "Oh, Baby E....baby e, what am I going to do?? Next word is GUM. And let's try real hard to give me a good sentence this time, alright?"

BABY E: [giggle giggle breathless chortle] "The man had nothing but GUMS left in his mouth cuz he ate only candy and his teeth ROTTED out!. GUMS."

ME: "Well, let's just finish with this. Now,  there's not much you can do to this next word. GIANT."

BABY E: [full blown hysteria]"The GIANT stepped on and smooshed and squished and splatted flat all the little people in the village till they were squished  flat! GIANT!"




And that's only one third of the words from his list, only one third. This is my life, people. This.is.my.life.