Why I Don't Wear My SpiderMans Anymore....

It's Monday. He's up, he's got his notes from the week, and we're ready to go.

Baby E., on his world this week. His speaks, I type, since I'm the one with the mad keyboard skills. (srsly) You should see my fingers fly.
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BABY E:

So, let's go, it's kind of a long list this week. It'll take kinda like 10 seconds to go through.

First, I have to tell you about this picture. I do not like my Spidermans anymore. I liked them a lot when this picture was taken, but not now. When I found out why they were so bad. Well, they're kinda...well, this picture is from when I liked them and they're babyish now. My mom is sad I won't wear them. But, so, now she took me to get new pajamas. I'll show you next week. And guess what? The new pajamas I have now make me feel like a teenager. You'll see.

The next thing I wrote in my journal for ideas ( My mom says,"go get your diary" and I whisper back, "It's not a diary, it's a journal"). :

The next big story is about beetles. Asian beetles.

The invasion of the asian beetles.:

These asian beetles were all over, we had to call my mom's friend, Jerry, the bug guy. They were incredibly bad, all over in my big brother's room. I have this big brother, and he couldn't even read in his room because they'd land on his lips and hair and he was starting to get really mad. But my dad didn't want to pay a bug guy to come to the house so my mom taped up my brother's windows with mailing tape to catch them cuz she read to do that.

It didn't work, and when the bug guy came and saw what she did, we were standing under the tape trap my mom made by the big windows and the bug guy pulled the tape off and holy cow! it was like rain. Really gross rain. And like 50,000 crunchy dried up old bugs landed on the carpet and I couldn't even walk around in there because it was like an asian beetle landmine.

I have like 4 more big stories: but my mom will only let me do one more. Which is too bad because the stories I have are really good. I'll do them next week, though.

My mom says I can't say ANY NAMES about this next story. So, I'll call it:

"When my mom made me go to this one kid's house.":

My mom always feels sorry for people, and just cuz she feels sorry for them, we're the ones that have to do the good stuff for them. Like, go over to their house. Which I did.

This one kid, he had no friends (you'll see why later) and my mom said, "Honey, you need to go over and be nice to him because he has no friends." So, I said, "No" because I know what that usually means. It usually means I find out why the kid has no friends.

So, she makes me go. I get there, the kid comes to the door with his mom and his mom is all smiley and "hi there" but the kid just runs and hides. So, I stay, and the mom makes the kid come out to play with me and the kid says, (and this was so weird ) "do you want to go to SeaWorld?" And, me, I feel mixed up and don't know what to say, so I say"uhhh....suuuuure (gulp)."

So, then, the kid runs to the bathroom and grabs a bucket from the bathtub, and I think "uh oh" and I follow him, and then he goes to his room AND THROWS THE BUCKET THAT'S FULL OF PLASTIC DOLPHINS AND WHALES on the floor! And then the kid's like "It's SeaWorld!" and I'm just like......... I wanted to ask the mom when I would go home but, then, I knew that wouldn't be very nice.

Then, he wanted to play "Aliens" and that's not the worst part. So, he grabbed like all these 20 dollar tubes (at Shopko they're 20 dollars, I don't know about Target) of MartianMatter and then the kid said, "grab a bottle!" but I didn't want to because I know how much that stuff costs, so I just let him do it , and he ran outside and squirted all the bottles at once on a big rock outside of his house and said "It's an Alien now!" and started to hit it with a stick. I really wanted to go home right away then.

The mom asked me to stay for a snack first. And then the kid wanted to make us soup! He filled a bucket full of water, and then began squirting in some Purell from this big Purell thing from Costco or something it was so big and then sticks and leaves and raspberries and grapes that he got from inside the house. And he even threw in some Cheerios. And then he spilled it down his slide on purpose.

Then I saw my mom come and I ran to the van. She started to laugh really hard when she saw me keep pulling on the van door and the door was still locked.

Bye.