Gender disappointment. There's even a name for it. It's when a small corner of you is wistful for a daughter, or son, that you didn't have.
How many parents harbor a smidgeon of this wish? 3 out of 4, according to a survey I came across.
Today, I guest post at LifeWithoutPink, and discuss gender disappointment. Do you have it, have you gotten over it? Are you at peace with your life now?
I'd like to know what you think. I hope you'll stop over at LifeWithoutPink, and let us know if you are among the 3 out of 4, that did yearn for a son or a daughter. And if you did, how did you resolve that wish? Or haven't you?
Thank you! If you don't know Tina yet, you'll enjoy meeting her. She has a blog that always has something happening. I call her "the party house." Because that's what it is...contests, guest posts, features, projects, you'll never feel lonely knowing Tina. If you're new to blogging, LifeWithoutPink offers you so many ways to get involved and quickly meet others. She has the nicest readers, too.
I hope to see you there.
I know you'll be happy to get to know Tina.
Actually i fear this everyday Alexandra... I don't have any brothers, most of my cousins are girls, though we are not very close, feminine gender dominates in my home as well, all my friends are girls, i just cannot imagine myself being a mother to a boy...
ReplyDeleteYou need to put out a road map so we can follow you around...just saying.
ReplyDeleteI had it...
ReplyDeleteI badly wanted my first child to be a boy. It didn't work out that way, but after about 5 minutes, it didn't matter anymore...
I've been thinking about this ever since her SITS day. What would I do if I only had boys? Or only had girls? I want a mix of both genders.
ReplyDeletei dont know that i really think about it really...i am happy with the boys and T seems so as well...and we definitely dont want to be outnumbered...smiles.
ReplyDeleteSo THIS is why I go apeshit crazy when it's a girl's birthday and I have to buy pink stuff??
ReplyDeleteI know my husband was very pleased to have boys....girls, especially teenage girls, scare the daylights out of him. Me? I kinda dig being the only female in the house...
ReplyDeleteI don't have any gender disappointment... but I will tell you that the nurses were laughing their heads off at the crazy lady who was shocked and cried when her daughter was born. After the 3 boys I was pretty sure it'd never happen :) and now, I realize I had no freakin' idea what I was getting myself into :)
ReplyDeleteNo gender disappointment here! I have two girls and know that is what I was meant to have. I wouldn't have a clue what to do with boys:)
ReplyDeleteI love you! You are so awesome, what a great post! The second time around when my son popped out and they said "Its a boy!" a small part of me said, "Are you for real?" But as soon as he was in my arms, I didn't care and actually thought it would be cool that my older son would have a brother. Of course I'll miss the mother/daugther relationship but I have never dwelled on it. Of course I never thought I would have a life without a daughter....but you know what my boys are awesome and I am so lucky to have them!
ReplyDeleteI read it and I commented to you over there!
ReplyDeleteI'm on my way over -- you know how outnumbered I've been here! (Hence, the book!)
ReplyDeleteCan't wait to find some kindred spirits!
I left my comment over at Tina's place, but just wanted to say that you did a great job (are we surprised? No! You rock!). Loved your post. :)
ReplyDeleteI always thought if I were to have children, which I wasn't sure of at all, that I would have one girl. I couldn't imagine having a boy. And I was absolutely convinced with both my boys that they would be girls (we didn't find out beforehand). But the second I found out the gender with each, I was all, "who needs girls?? Boys rule!!" Go figure.
ReplyDeleteFakey-Fakerson Test Comment. :) Thanks for helping me with this Gravatar issue!!
ReplyDeleteAnd, test comment #2.
ReplyDeletei'm so confused. i left a comment at your guest post, but it doesn't show up here. i thought it automatically went to your blog.
ReplyDeleteSincerely,
totally confused about blogging etiquette
Luckily, I wanted a little girl and got one. I doubt I'd have had the GD though if it had gone the other way. I think it's best to want what you've got!
ReplyDeleteI have it. But it's from wanting more grandkids that I will never have. I need the smell of babies, the spit-ups, the faces, the new discoveries...I want grandkids. Mine are growing up and it's not cool to want to come to pawpaw's house.
ReplyDeleteYou will see me there.
ReplyDeleteI didn't have gender disappointment, but I'll bet my husband would have liked a son or two to carry on our name.
OMG< look I stepped out of twitter for a minute to come see you!LOL You know you're one of my favorite tweeps in the world and now I am headed over to read your Guest post. Hope you are having a fabulous day, sweet lady! Happy Mothering!
ReplyDeleteI think you already know from a previous comment how much I LOVE that you tackled this issue! So pertinent. Women talk non-stop about this on my mother's group online forum. Heading on over!
ReplyDeleteIt was just the other day that I realized that the color, pink, although the color of unconditional love in some societies, is also a color that seems to signify innocence. Consequently, it's not a color that adults (females) are encouraged to wear. I mean, you don't often see women wearing pink dresses, suits etc unless it's a very strong pink. It's as if you'd appear immature if you wore it. I think it's a pity, really.
ReplyDeleteI know I'm off topic but perhaps not entirely...we're conditioned into certain preferences and norms, which if not satisfied, adds to our pain or sense of regret.
Empress, you are everywhere! Will hop on over...great topic, and one that not many will discuss openly and honestly. But I know you will.
ReplyDeleteI have one of each, so I don't think it ever happened for me, but if I had gone for a third....
I have boys and when they were small I was sad I'd never have a daughter. We even still talk about adopting a little girl but when we had an actual talk with the foster care people I realized what I miss is another child, not a girl necessarily. Just one more child - boy or girl is fine
ReplyDeleteWhat a great topic. Thanks for saying what so many seem to be afraid to voice.
ReplyDeletebtw, I read Tina too - she's good peeps. :-)
I'm on my way. I love Tina's blog and she and I shared a dose of gender disappointment awhile back.
ReplyDeleteSuch a great topic because so many many people feel like this and are embarassed to admit it. Loved your take on it. I feel so much better. xoxoxoxo
ReplyDeleteHa. I got one of each. But never wanted a girl. Ever. What the hell am I supposed to do with a GIRL???
ReplyDeleteWonderful job as usual, Alexandra. I have a friend encountering a bit of GD as well, so I know this is definitely a common feeling.
ReplyDeleteI left you a bit of bloggy love at Life Without Pink and you were mentioned in my most recent post. Hope all is well with you and you are enjoying your week!
I think of this all the time...the fact that when they read the u/s and told us 2 Boys...I was overjoyed and having boys is very cool to me, but then I see my friends with thier daughters, or I see cute clothes or dresses etc...and I miss the PINK. I think about who will like Broadway showtunes with me, who will take Ballet and have recitals and I know that John does in some ways miss the "idea" of a little girl. Of a "daddy's girl"
ReplyDeleteI know that if we had the funds or the time (I'm 41 ,,he's 43) that we might try for a girl, but I know deep down that we are TEAM BLUE and I am the princess of our house...which is ok with me, in between the gentle wish of something pink.
Great topic and great post :)
Read your post the other night while nursing the baby and thought it was so beautifully, thoughtfully written -- as always. I "got my girl," but you better believe I could have been a very happy mother of three boys.
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