Back To Life, Back To Reality

What??? No parties tonight?

My children save me, every day.

I've just come back from an amazing conference in a beautiful city, where I was able to talk non stop with those who understand about my passion: blogging.

But, now we're all back home. And even though I wander around Target, hopefully, wishing upon a star to see someone with a BlogHer badge hanging around their lovely neck...I know it's not going to happen.

We're all back to life.

As always, my children, save me with their view of life, and reports of what went down in chinatown, while mom was gone.

I came back to this: a sheetful, in a notebook, of things Dad did that were wrong, wrong, wrong:

THINGS DAD DID WRONG AND BAD WHILE YOU WERE GONE, MOM

• We actually had to tell him to do the dishes. He said, "Why can't you do it?" in a crabby voice.

•  He made us go to bed at 11:00. And yelled at us for the slumber parties.

•  He slept until like 12:00.

•  We had fries and chicken nuggets for like the whole week. 

•  There was mold inside my water bottle. From not washing the dishes.

• And luckily I was smart enough to not take the mold infested water one to my soccer game.

•  On the two last days, he made us do everything that was free to do.

• We only went to the pool, and the park and a free bike ride. And, besides, I don't like family bike rides.

•  He only let us go on one ride apiece at the fair. 

• He stayed on the computer all day and we had to be quiet the whole time.

• He said we woke up too early, and made us be quiet when we were up and said we ate our breakfast too loud and it was only cereal.  Even pouring Cheerios was too loud.

•  He only let me have one sour ice pop a day and he took all the green ones for himself.

• All he did was take us places and that's it and we had to do everything else ourselves: like feed the fish.

•  And like he doesn't even know how to feed fish: he dumped so much fish food in there and the fish were smart enough to not explode from it.

•  And, thankfully, he did the dishes but like only an hour before you came home.

•  And he didn't wash the clothes at all and the laundry room was piled up with clothes and I had nothing to wear.

•  When we were at the fair he ate good stuff in front of us and he wouldn't take us home until he finished the delicious hamburger we couldn't have.

• And he really cut down on our computer time.  We only got like half an hour a day.

• We had to make him go to the store to buy food. And he went only once. Like four hours before you came home.

•  He didn't make cake or anything. 

•  And he would walk around without a shirt on. And sit down to eat like that. Yuk.

• He forgot to tell us to take a shower.

• He tried to bribe us with extra computer time to not tell you this stuff.

•  He tried to be cool by saying "lame."

• And worst of all, mama, he didn't buy us ANYTHING!!

***

Ahhhhhhhhhh....it's good to be missed. I'm back home, boys. I missed you, too.