The baby I wanted since I was five years old, no exaggeration.
When he was born, he looked up at me and his eyes were so blue that I heard myself gasp out loud.
As the nurse handed him to me, I couldn't see his face because my eyes filled with tears faster than they've ever filled before. I tried to look at him, but it was impossible; so many fat drops fell on his face that when I bent to kiss him, all I could taste was salt.
Well, he's seventeen today. His golden birthday, too. And I want to write him a letter while I still have him within five feet of me, there whenever I want him, to tell him what he means to me.
But as I try to write down something on paper for him to have from me forever, I can't see. Because, just as they did seventeen years ago, my eyes are filling with tears faster than they ever have before.
And all I can keep writing over and over is I'm so happy I still have you.
Happy Birthday, my wonderful boy. Just know that I love you. xo
Beautiful. And now I'm crying. What a lucky mama. What a lucky son.
ReplyDeleteOh, Jen, please come over, so we can cry together?? xo
DeleteHappy Birthday!
ReplyDeleteMom, hold them while you can, they grow up so fast!
Big happy heart here. Happy Birthday to your (salty) son. 17. Wow!
ReplyDeleteI totally, completely understand.
ReplyDeleteMy oldest is seventeen.
This is beautiful, and happy birthday to your young man!
Happy Birthday, you precious gift to my dear friend, Alexandra.
ReplyDeleteHappy birthday to your oldest emperor-in-waiting & to you for giving him life!
ReplyDeleteI love birthday posts.
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday to your "baby" boy!
Your Friend, m.
Tears. Tears. And a very, very Happy Birthday to you both. Such cause for celebration. Love this. xoxo
ReplyDeleteThank you, all of you.
ReplyDeleteYes, life is such a yin and yang. You get some good stuff, but OH what a chunk of your heart they cost.
Yes, I pretty much don't have the words for how much I love him, so why try.
Oh, you are making me watery now just thinking about it. Seriously. Eight nearly makes me cry. Best wishes for an amazing year. Cheers.
ReplyDeleteYou made me cry! There is *nothing* in the world like the love a mother has for her child. Happy birthday to your young man and warm fuzzies to you, Empress.
ReplyDeleteHappy birthday - to both of you.
ReplyDeleteSeventeen years. Wow. And to think I get misty at the thought of my oldest hitting 12 this year. I'm sure it never changes, maybe it intensifies. And the love...it's indescribable. Words sometimes fall flat to convey all that our hearts hold, all that our minds hope and pray for for them. Happy birthday to him (and to you since it's the day he was born but also the day you became a mother. Celebrate both, right?).
ReplyDeleteAh, I feel the same as my oldest's 15th birthday quickly approaches.
ReplyDeleteOh! Happy Birthday to your son and what a beautiful memory of his birth! I couldn't agree more with the other comments - a truly lucky son and a lucky Mama! As I was reading, I literally felt a pain in my heart as mine are only 5 and 2... already causing Mama anxiety about that day when they don't need me quite as much. I selfishly hope that day never comes, yet everything I do is to prepare them for the same. *sigh* So many hugs to you and your wonderful family!!!
ReplyDeleteMy mom was pretty strict when I was seventeen. When I started dating she told me I had to be in bed by midnight or I had to come home.
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday, Alec!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We love you!!!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteCandace
Oh my heavens. He is beautiful still.
ReplyDeleteHow incredibly sweet. And he is one good looking kid! Happy birthday to him!
ReplyDeleteVery cool post. I felt smilar last year on my daughter's 14th birthday. But not the "wanted her since I was five" part. At five I'm pretty sure I thought girls had cooties or something.
ReplyDeleteA very happy birthday to your son.
ReplyDeleteThis makes me want to have a boy. Oh.....man....
I'm going to cry! He's so handsome! My favorite part of all is when you said, "I'm happy I still have you." That is the sweetest, sweetest thing ever.
ReplyDeleteWonderful. Happy Day to you both.
ReplyDeleteThank you, all of you: yeah, of course it's a windy, grey day...which makes the reality of him being 18 next year that much more of an arrow straight to the heart.
ReplyDeleteThe days are long, but the years are short.
xo
17 is a big birthday! Happy Birthday to your handsome son. I hope it's a great year for him-- and you.
ReplyDeletexo jj
What a great tribute! Congratulations to the two of you. You are both very fortunate...
ReplyDeleteWow, 17!!! Happy Birthday to him...and to you. :)
ReplyDeleteOh such happy happy tears, look at that gorgeous picture! Happy Birthday to your son who is so lucky to have YOU as his mom.
ReplyDeleteWow!
--B E A U T I F U L.
ReplyDeleteHappy 17th Birthday.
How blessed you both are <3
love the photo.
Gah! I knew reading the title of this post that you were writing it just for me...gratitude for every day...that is the message you've given me. xoxoxo and have a wonderful birthday celebration.
ReplyDeletep.s. You make gorgeous babies
beautiful boy, beautiful mom
ReplyDeleteAwwww. And now I can't type because my eyes are full of tears.
ReplyDeleteI have one of those, too. (The 17 year old son, that is) So I totally understand. :)
I will have one of those. In four years. And my heart is already heavy with the thought of losing him. Many blessings to your son. Hold onto him while you can!
ReplyDeleteAnd he still takes pictures with his mom! That's an accomplishment right there.;)
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday to your beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful boy (attempting to be witty and sing John Lennon there, just in case you didn't catch it).
xo
Partyl Sunny! How are you? I am so happy to see you. I have to click over and catch up. And yes, it went too fast and wasn't nearly long enough to have him.
DeleteNot nearly long enough.
Seriously, I did not see a tissue disclaimer at the top of this post! It is absolutely beautiful (as is the photo of the two of you!)
ReplyDeleteOh, Andrea..I'm so lucky to know you.
DeleteThank you for how you always understand and encourage me.
xo
Lovely post. And a very happy birthday to your son!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Korinthia! I'm excited to see you here. Good luck on your own new blog!
DeleteSo handsome!!!
ReplyDeleteI'm about to move to a new parent phase....Sheldon got herself engaged. Its a whole new world in Tunaville.
Congrats on raising a fine boy.
WhAT??? SHELDON??
DeleteOH MY GOSH...
on my way.
Awww, how sweet:)
ReplyDeleteOh my! I feel this way about my 8 year old, I can't imagine what it's going to be like when he's SEVENTEEN. And I fear that it's going to happen in a blink of the eye!
ReplyDeleteAw this made me tear up. What a sweet post. I hope he had an amazing golden birthday. What a lucky guy to have a mother who loves him so much.
ReplyDeleteOh, dear friend. The time does go so incredibly fast...
ReplyDeleteWhat a handsome young man, who is so lucky to have you as mom.
xoxo
I know what you mean. So much. Happy Belated Birthday!
ReplyDeleteI can't imagine prying my claws--I mean releasing my grip--I mean gently letting go of my boy when he's old enough for college. I wonder if they have in-law-type suites in dorm rooms these days...
ReplyDeleteGorgeous shot of mother and son!
Awww, sweetness :) Happy happy birthday to your handsome young man. This was such a beautiful post to read, Alexandra. XOXO
ReplyDeleteThis makes my eyes fill with tears too! Happy Birthday!
ReplyDeleteHe'll be 18 next year, and right now, I just want to think how he is RIGHT THERE whenever I want to hold him.
DeleteAnd now, I'm crying again, lovely lady...xo
"I'm so happy I still have you." That could be the birthday words of every mother of every child everywhere. Happy birthday to your blue-eyed boy.
ReplyDeleteanymommy: it's faster than they warn you. It's overnight.
Delete"The days are long but the years are short."
He is so handsome. I can see your pride in your eyes friend.
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday!!!
happy day to your boy. i never cried when they were babies or toddlers over time passing too quickly, but am taken aback at every moment now that they're teens and slipping away, as they should, right before my very tear filled eyes.
ReplyDeleteKathy, you hit it on the head. It's knowing he'll be 18 next year at this time that just seizes my heart.
DeleteI love that you understand. THANK YOU.
Oh you do! You do still have him! You DO!
ReplyDeleteAnd he has you. Always will. That's the most gorgeous part.
(Well that, and the two of you. DANG. You are NOT unattractive people.)
XO
look how cute you are! :)
ReplyDeleteSo sweet! Hope you had a fabulous time celebrating his birthday!
ReplyDeleteOh, this made me tear up. So lovely.
ReplyDeleteOh I know exactly what you mean. Exactly. Happy Birth Day to both of you.
ReplyDeleteNew follower from NY via Mama Wants This! Mama to an 11 year old boy who acts a lot like 17. Have a great birthday!
ReplyDeleteHello my friend! I wish to say that this article is amazing, nice written and include almost all important infos. I would like to see more posts like this .
ReplyDeleteWhat a sweet post! I too have a 17 yr. old son, I can so relate. But he is my youngest and my oldest is soon to be married. Enjoyed your post!
ReplyDelete