Times of transition can be desperate times. Re-acclimating and getting to know each other again. My three kids were home last Friday for their first day of summer vacation. And it was, as my brilliant youngest boy explained, "we're like boxers figuring each other out before we decide what we can do."
Absolutely. The first day of summer vacation. I made it through, but not without my twitter. My twitter that saved me from losing that last grip I had on sanity and running out into my cul-de-sac, naked and babbling, a la Anne Heche.
Here we have #Day1 of summer vacation, deconstruction style and documented on twitter: smile smugly or nod in relatability as you read and watch my not so slow descent into madness:
Good Day, Reg People
Just discovered guarantee to get kids
to wash hands after they go to the bathroom: google and show Full Size
Image of E Coli bacteria.
Why do I continue to be shocked each
time DS, 9, tells me he cleaned his room in 10 mins & I go check
& find it all shoved under the bed?
Said they'd get jobs if they kept
fighting:& now I'm sitting here amazed that they sweep like they're
pushing a dust broom at a car factory.
So, I'm finally seeing all the notes sent home from school that I never saw as I empty out 3 boys' backpacks. #DAY1 summer vacation
#Day1 Summer Vacation and cries from upstairs of "mama! He's shooting at me with pretend lasers!"
And b/c of my screaming on #Day1, DS, 9 comes downstairs wearing his chain Pirate necklace with skull on it: "to protect me from you today."
Already made 15 bucks. RT @GDRPempress: #Day1 of summer vacation & already blown my gasket: $5.00 fine for next person who says my name.
Teens laughing as I pull over--again-- to that GD music with sirens in the song.
#DAY1 Telling kids about the "there are starving kids in India" as they complain of cereal for lunch.
Having to step up game as kids hear neighbors across street had Ramen Noodles for lunch.
Serving cereal for lunch,#Day1 Summer
Vacation: DS, 9: "No offense, but, is this what summer's going to be
like?" *only with bloggy moms*
And how did you all survive??
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In love with my slick parenting style? You can follow my weekly parenting column at milwaukeemoms.com
Seriously. My older girls only went to MDO twice a week and I miss those two half days like crazy. I'm glad that I'm not the only one openly dealing with hitting (theirs) and yelling (mine), although you have crushed my dreams that it will get better as they get older.
ReplyDeleteOh, it never gets better.
DeleteOnly different.
xo
Know what finally got Carter to wash his hands? My dad got a KIDNEY INFECTION from E COLI on his SKIN. No kidding! He went to donate blood and they didn't clean his arm well enough and they put the E Coli INTO HIS BLOOD.
ReplyDeleteSorry. Was I shouting? It was really terrible. Plus this: when you donate blood, make sure they clean your arm double. I now make them let me do it myself before they do it.
Wanna trade kids for a few weeks? Yours would probably listen great to me, and I just know that Carter would think you were fabulously tremendously wonderful, so win/win!
OOOOH ::fiendlishly rubbing hands together::
DeleteLemme call the boys down. "BOYS! GOOD STORY HERE!"
(thanks, doll)
I need a drink after reading your tweets... I feel your pain.
ReplyDeleteLuckily (and 'sadly' at the same time) my kids live with their mom. I don't go through the hell she does, yet... I wish I did...
I missed all these on Twitter so I'm glad you reprinted them. I think this had better be a regular blog series!
ReplyDeleteSuch a good ideas, Suzy. Thank you.
DeleteSo, which Transformer do you want to be?
ReplyDeleteSome days I feel like Bumblebee, some days it's Optimus.
Deletexo
I'm not there yet. I have 1 more glorious week. And then I planned a mammo to get more writing time. Is that bad? That's bad, right?
ReplyDeleteBad as in EVIL GENIUS BAD!
Deletexo
ugh...i hate music with sirens in it...it gets me every time...cleats to the shin...no fun...only a few months to go...smiles.
ReplyDeleteMy girls are in school until noon on Thursday. They're home (well, a few days with grandparents, a few days with their aunt) but then it's camp. I've changed my schedule so that I can work 7-4 with every other Monday off. I am forcing myself to see the bright side: at least there'll be that Monday. Your boy turning to the pirate skull for protection is hilarious. At least you haven't resorted to yelling, "Stop yelling!" yet...or have you?
ReplyDeleteOur summer vacation does not start until June 29th, but your post was like a deja vu from last year... my son just threw all this crap ON the bed and claimed that he was done cleaning up, the rest is pretty much the same...
ReplyDeleteLOVE! Particularly "to protect me from you today". Ha!
ReplyDeleteMine are grown, but this does bring back memories!
ReplyDeleteI wonder if I will survive that :(
ReplyDeleteDay 3 and we are still hitting each other. Lord help us all.
ReplyDeleteCoffee by day, wine by night . . . isn't that how all of the parents survive?
ReplyDeleteAnd I'm horribly disheartened to hear that the hitting doesn't go away, I was so very hopeful that CJ would just grow out of this phase, especially once he was able to actually ask for the things he wants.
Hold on HOLD ON! We're supposed to WASH our FLOORS?
ReplyDelete#dammit
XOXO
A.
We haven't started yet. Three more weeks of school and I have to say, your first day sounds delightful. Except for the blood part.
ReplyDeleteAround here, we are surviving poorly. Very poorly.
ReplyDeletethese are hilarious. i am seriously, after 5 years at this party, thinking about figuring out twitter. you are my motivation! :)
ReplyDeleteAnna, my dear Anna: I have BEEN BEGGING you to get on twitter for months now.
Deletemade the BIGGEST difference in my life: really, a friend within reach at all times.
I wish you'd get on board...it's so much fun. And so unlonely. xo
Ha Ha! We do cereal for lunch, too. I want to do it for dinner - I'm almost there.
ReplyDeleteI'm surviving. Summer vacation started two weeks ago for us, and already I'm hiding in my bedroom in half hour increments just to get some peace. Only problem: my boys know where the bedroom is and keeping coming in. Arggh!
I LOVE your tweets. And you moms are myu heroes.
ReplyDeleteHang in there!
xo
@thatgalkiki
Oh, you are so sweet: Yes, twitter, saves many a mom's mind on a daily...nay, hourly...basis.
Deletesee the upside of homeschooling year around is when they are annoying, you threaten with more math ;)
ReplyDelete"to protect me from you today." That is hilarious! Like garlic and a cross if you were a vampire. This made me laugh. Oh, summer break...I want it and I dread it.
ReplyDeleteYou make me laugh always. That boy with the pirate necklace... I feel like he's learned a thing or two from his momma :) Here's hoping the rest of summer vaca goes without any more trips to the doctor's office.
ReplyDeleteAm I in denial to hope that if I work full time I'll never have to enjoy the horrors or summer vacation?
ReplyDeleteIs it wrong that I'm hyperventilating a wee bit? Only a half day left between me, Mooch and summer vacation. Just a little tense, here. Gonna go breathe into a lunch bag.
ReplyDelete