And Again, You've Held Me Up

It makes no sense how everything in the world didn't stop this week. Bills still have to be paid, jobs still need to be completed, and appointments still must be kept.

There are 43 messages in my voice mail and over 500 emails in my inbox.

Life goes on, even when a beloved one's has stopped.

We have to keep going. Steel ourselves up and keep going. Even when we've become that crazy lady who looks up at everyone who crosses their path, and says to total strangers in the store check-out lane, "my nephew died, you know? And I can't believe it."

People have been kind; these poor strangers who have no idea who I am. One woman touched my arm, and could barely whisper, "I'm so sorry." A man told me he lost his sister, and that he'd pray for our family. I turned my dentist into my psychotherapist today--because that's what we do when devastation hits. (he took off his mask, held my hand, listened, wiped his eyes, and now I will follow him anywhere, even if he falls out of my dental care network)

We seek out, looking for others, to help us. There are so many of us doing the daily must-dos, carrying our stories of suspended disbelief inside, wondering, asking the unanswerable, how do we keep going?

A big part of that answer for me has been in all of you, who have become my community. I have my faith, my belief, I have my family. But I also have your cards, your emails, phone messages, tweets, texts, facebook messages, comments here on my blog, and every single one of these, a gift to me in the long hours of a sleepless night.

You may not realize the strength that comes from knowing that so many care and are heartbroken along with me, but it does. To feel you all sharing in this pain with me, that runs as an undercurrent through every single thought of mine. My family has suffered a great loss, an untimely death of a brilliant star that lit up our lives. I know just how much more overwhelming this time for us would feel, if I didn't have your kind words here to make me smile.

I smile, through tears, but I smile. With genuine gratitude and appreciation for how you have kept me from feeling alone in this tremendous blow.

Once again, you all save my life, daily, as we have to go back to what the world calls "normal," something our lives will never be again.

Thank you.

Today

       Mend a quarrel. Search out a forgotten friend. Dismiss suspicion and
      replace it with trust. Write a love letter. Share some treasure. Give a soft
      answer. Encourage youth. Manifest your loyalty in a word or deed.       Keep a promise. Find the time. Forego a grudge. Forgive an enemy. Listen.
      Apologize if you were wrong. Try to understand. Flout envy. Examine your
      demands on others. Think first of someone else. Appreciate, be kind, be
      gentle. Laugh a little more.
      Deserve confidence. Take up arms against malice. Decry complacency.
      Express your gratitude. Worship your God. Gladden the heart of a child.
      Take pleasure in the beauty and wonder of the earth.
      Speak your love. Speak it again. Speak it still again. Speak it still once again.

                                                                                      --- Author Unknown

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