Earlier this week after a neighbor a few blocks away saw me driving with my mother and children in a vanful of ice cream lickers, she commented, "Wow. Ice cream every day. That's a lot of ice cream."
On the day she saw me take my mother out twice in one day for a double scoop ice cream treat, this woman decided I needed to know the fat content of the creamiest frozen custard in town. In case I wasn't aware, because obviously, I had no idea what I was putting into my mother.
241 calories in one scoop, 482 calories in a double scoop. 12 grams of fat and 202 mg of cholesterol per serving **404 in a double scoop, just so we know**
"Are you sure all that ice cream's good for her?"
Let me mull that over, let me consider how to reduce my answer to only two or three sentences.
Having to decide whether to add say, six days extra to my mother's life right now by low fat, low cholesterol eating versus cutting her life short a week and instead replacing it with giving her something to look forward to as soon as she wakes up by knowing those that love her are on their way, bearing gifts that come with double hot fudge on top.
"Yup." I answer my neighbor. "I'm sure. So's her Doctor. He even wrote out a prescription for her -- two scoops a day of whatever she wants. It's called the Hospice Food Pyramid."
* * *
Best reply ever. I admire you so much right now for your strenght, love, and devotion you are showing. Such an awesome example of how it should be.
ReplyDeleteTHanks, Jen. It's a surreal feeling, knowing the days we have... right there. xo
Deleteyou told that nosy neighbor!
ReplyDeleteDid I just now??!! xo
DeleteShe sounds like the type who might've had to run inside to google that..."let's see, she said hospice food pyramid". I think you need to make a wikipedia entry for her to find. Much love to you as you find happy moments for your family to share and give your mother dignity in knowing she is loved!
ReplyDeleteI want her to remember that. I want her to really remember these days... xo
Deletehugs...
ReplyDeleteat the end of my days, i would rather go out happy and having the best that watching every calorie....
That's what I figure, B. QUALITY of life, not quantity of days right now. xo
DeleteMy grandmother went through a stage when she would only eat ice cream, so we tried to get as much of it into her as we could. She needed the calories desperately and she enjoyed it so much.
ReplyDeleteExactly. THe Dr says if she has an appetite for whatever it is, please give it to her. She's not eating much else than ice cream and a banana at each meal. It keeps her going, though.
DeleteI wish I were classy like that. I'd probably have said something more like "Eff you, ya nosy bitch".
ReplyDeleteI used to do home health care and my client loved her little treats, and her family was fine with it, but another caregiver griped about it constantly. Wanted her to eat 100% healthy 100%of the time. The woman was 89 years old, with dementia and prior strokes. It's all about quality of life.
Right? My mother is almost 89, in end stage renal failure... if she wants ice cream every day SO BE IT. xo
DeleteGood for you and bless her. I so agree with letting her enjoy her time in anyway she wants. Well... a week trip to Hawaii and the cabana boys may be a little much, but ice-cream, let the enjoy.
ReplyDeleteHow I WISH hawaii and cabana boys were in my budget. I"d make it happen. xo
DeleteGood for you. Giving your mother a little bit of joy is a lovely thing and none of your neighbor's business. I can't tolerate people who think they need to police other people's actions. It's the sign of an empty life.
ReplyDeleteDearest DMB: it's all she looks forward to, visits and ice cream. It's what she counts on. xo
DeleteMy mom (in her 80s) is addicted to pain pills. When my sister and I discussed it we decided it was better to let her live out her life PAIN FREE (and drinking wine on top of that) than to keep her from her pills.
ReplyDeleteBring on the ice cream!
THat's what her Dr. said, "whatever she can keep down, please provide it." SHe always keeps the ice cream down. xo
DeleteYou are doing exactly the right thing for your mother. She is blessed to have you for a daughter.
ReplyDeleteDear Tracie: THank you. The only way out of darkness is with light. xo
DeleteMy grandmother, 96, is here with me for another visit and my life much resembles yours. *smile* The boys are all amazed that there is pie and "cream" every night, donuts and bacon for breakfast--but I am constantly aware that every day may be the last.
ReplyDeleteMy heart goes out to you both...
They are such sweet people right now, aren't they?? I love when you visit, Chantel. Thank you.
DeleteI hope your *actual* reply to this Gladys Kravitz neighbor was something along the lines of, "If I want anything out of you, I'll squeeze your head."
ReplyDeleteThis is why I don't make eye contact with the people on my street. Sheesh!
If I could, I'd FedEx your mom a banana split.
XOXO
Anna
I almost feel sorry for that neighbor - because clearly she's completely missing the point.
ReplyDeleteYou're giving your dear mother so much more than ice cream. You're giving her your time. Love. And joy. You're making memories for your sweet boys and for yourself.
You are making the last days of her life meaningful.
And all this woman can do is look at the calorie content. What a sad thing for her. If she really wanted to help, I bet you could have used a hug instead of her judgment.
So that's what I'm sending you now: a virtual hug. And so much respect for how you are valuing your mother. You're also teaching your boys how to love.
And that's so much more than a double scoop of ice cream.
You leave some of the best comments on the planet, Ms. Gardner. I am verklempt. xo
DeleteI so love this Alexandra, and I love that you, your mom and your kids are having fun getting the ice cream. The hospice diet is a good one indeed!!! My mom and I have been having fun with aunt, who is in hospice care, she is enjoying the cookie prescription! Sending much love to you!!
ReplyDeleteI so love this Alexandra, and I love that you, your mom and your kids are having fun getting the ice cream. The hospice diet is a good one indeed!!! My mom and I have been having fun with aunt, who is in hospice care, she is enjoying the cookie prescription! Sending much love to you!!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Kathy. I mean, HOW SILLY!! My mother is 88, in end stage renal failure and in hospice. Whatever she wants: SHE GETS. xo
DeleteOf course she gets ice cream. Every day. Double scoop. WHY NOT?
ReplyDeleteI love how you're bringing sunshine into your mother's life now.
What a wonderful reply and an excellent choice to have ice cream every day. I know you are cherishing these moments. You have amazing strength.
ReplyDeleteI can't believe how much I love this, and I still cannot believe how much you do re: your BlogHer post below. See you soon!
ReplyDeleteLet the lady eat ice cream! Your mother raised you right, I love that you're giving her exactly what you know she needs. And I hate that you have to. Why can't our parents just live forever? HOW HARD CAN THAT BE???
ReplyDelete