Bad at Resolutions or Bad Resolutions?

It's January, the New Year, what else do people talk about except for "D'ja make any New Year resolutions?" Some of us have pages written, others a top ten, and the truly focused have *The One.*

I've tried it all, the litany of itemized things that I resolve I must do and change about my life, my Top Ten of how this is the year I get my act together resolution list, and also the hallelujah angel chorus of The One The Only If I Just Do This One Resolution... Success.Is.Mine.

I've never seen a list of my New Year Resolutions through. Ever. I've tried a life coach to help me through them, she just made me crabby. I've tried an accountability group for resolutions, they just grew into a braggity crew. Then, this year, it dawned on me. I began muttering Resolutions = Bad, until the realization hit me, because yes, at this late stage in my life, with age comes wisdom. It's not the act of setting resolutions that's bad, it's the resolution itself that may be wrong.

I mean, if I want to feel successful at resolution setting, then let's set some resolutions I stand a chance at achieving.

--I could resolve to limit my donut intake to one a day. It may take willpower, but I can do that.

--I could resolve to commit to taking at least three showers a week. This will entail setting the alarm a bit earlier Monday Wednesday Friday and stepping into a cold shower stall, but resolutions require effort, don't they?

--How about active movement for 30 minutes straight -- no break in between -- every single day. I'm going to say yes, and not even think about it.

--Not making my clothes into pajamas. This one twists my arm, but what the heck, okay let's go for it.

--Being realistic about how long it will take to get somewhere. I can no longer live in the place of magical thinking. Travel time is real, yo, and there is no time travel machine. Even though it's 2014, we still don't live like The Jetsons.

--Take on the very much need-to-take seriously resolution of getting rid of things. The things in the closet, the things in the shoe shelves, the things in the T shirt and shorts drawers. I will never wear or fit into these things again. I have to look into the mirror and say, "It's not about size it's about shifting." Being the same wedding day weight doesn't mean being the same wedding day body. Hurry up and donate those business power suits before they become vintage and then you'll never get rid of them.

--I'm no dummy, growth requires change, and it wouldn't be growth without pain, and it wouldn't be a resolution without said pain, and here's where I bleed: go through your books. Ouch, I know. But again, the world is changing and books may be what I love but the world is marching digitally download on. So you've got to go through the stacks and donate. Libraries are getting choosy, Family Sharing Centers are beyond holding capacity for donations, and Half Price Books told me they're going to start charging me for bringing in my bags of stuff since I complained about the $3.00 they gave me for four canvas bags of books. Get a box of tissues while you cry your eyes out and start packing up your babies.

--Go to bed before midnight. You just now saw the face of the old boyfriend who keeps trying to friend you every three months on Facebook. The one who is still partying hard and who under interests lists Women! complete with exclamation mark. He doesn't sleep, he says so, and you saw what that does. ::shivers:: Go To Bed.

--Resolve to be nice to your kids and let them do more iPad.

--Eat the tangerines I bring home. Right now, I'm just like Wendi Aarons, I buy the bag, I keep them on the counter to shrivel for a week, and then I throw them out. Then I go to the store and buy another bag for the week. But this year, I'm going to eat AAAAAAALLLLL THE TANGERINES.

--Be optimistic. Yes, it goes against my woe is me and I Knew It nature, but would it kill me to look on the bright side? I'm ready for this one.

I think I can make these resolutions work.

Hey, was that me looking on the bright side just now? Already working. I tell ya, it's all in the resolution.

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