How Do You Lose an Entire Putin?

My household has been taken down by Where's Putin fever. Buzzing all over the internet this week, theories abound, clever memes are posted, and we've taken to twitter andFB hashtagging. #WhereIsPutin ???

The last time Russia's president was seen in public was March 5. For a man who competes neck to neck with Matthew David McConaughey for chest-baring photo ops, this step away from the public eye is a first.

Gawker cites CIA sources as Putin having the flu. (can you imagine the CIA giving a shinola about me having the flu?)

The Atlantic ponders, what if, a Russia without Putin.

NBCNews pulled together for a Meet the Press, with a catchy segment called "Mystery in Moscow."

You know this Putin Gone Missing is serious business, because The New York Times published an all you need to know with "Putin has vanished, but rumors haven't."

Mashable has an outrageous compilation of #whereisputin tweets. Dear lord, the world has funny people in it.

YouTube and the unconvinced public at large have proposed Putin's face on milk cartons, or that he's having a lovechild, maybe botched botox, and possibly.... riding on the back of a bird.

You can read all the above links, or put your faith in Putin's presidential spokesperson, Dmitry Peskov, who tells us tersely that, "He is fine. His health, is perfect."

I'm sorry, Dmitry, but for me to get on the *He's Fine* bandwagon, I need a video clip so I can study your pupils, time your voice for hesitancy, check your speech pattern for inflections. Without that, this household will continue to parlez-vous Putin. There are a crapton of important international events up ahead and a chair for Putin that cannot sit empty, starting with Monday's meeting at the Kremlin with the president of Kyrgyzstan. Will he be there?? (and I can't help but ask, will he arrive on a flying weasel?)

My personal opinion? It's not the flu, the reported bad back, nor cosmetic enhancement. Putin's smitten in love and can't tear himself away from his cottage/military getaway/summer home/that all presidents of countries have. And in this case, being mysteriously Putin-y.

 

 

photo credit: Putin Powers via photopin (license)