The Music That Made Me

This week’s Rolling Stone has a cover story called “The Songs That Made Me” in which artists share six or eight songs that had influence in their lives. They’re not always what you’d expect, but when the answers given were honest ones versus choices made to impress, it's a beautiful peek into what someone is like.

When Nancy of midlife mixtape invited me to join in on a “The Music That Made Me” blog hop, it took all of two seconds for me to say yes.

I mean, music? Me and music? My thought bubbles are lyrics. All day long it's “We Got the Beat” as I run around getting everyone out in the morning, and then if I happen to be driving through anxiety-inducing heavy rain it's “Climb Every Mountain!” When I try on shorts for summer, I can't stop myself from humming “Impossible! For a plain yellow pumpkin to become a golden carriage!”

But when I sat down to whip out what I thought would be ten minutes of song titles, morphed into a tortured afternoon of hair-pulling crises: The question posed is “Songs that MADE me” not “Songs I LIKE.”

That pondering right there, is worth six pages of journal writing.

Songs that made me requires me to look a long ways back. Like through a tunnel of time that has me running past Merlin and George Washington and Attila the Hun.

Growing up with three older siblings means I was around music very early, the in kind. There was a hot beat always on the car radio or on the record player going in the basement. So, even if I'm not a fan of certain types of music, they may still  be a large part of my life, because of their presence.

 

This is what forces me to say that anything by the Beatles is part of The Music That Made Me. Especially from the Rubber Soul album.

1. “Michelle,” The Beatles

I was so young when I first heard this, but the power of feeling moved by music was something that made me ache. So beautiful, so classic, so easy to sing to. Self-soothing and cured whatever addled my poor psyche. This is an important feature, when you've always been a nervous lap dog.



2. "Ground Control to Major Tom,” David Bowie
First released in 1969, I didn't hear it until I began to, as my therapist said, “individuate myself from my family of origin.” So, it was the beginning of my teen years and while up late one night watching Don Kershner's Midnight Special, that I saw him. David Bowie. I fell in heavy crush love with all of him, and this song, with its storytelling fed me with the just what I love parts of drama, story, anguish, loss, of love, of BOWIE. Then, then, THEN, the rising of Bowie's voice after the lift off sound effects? Kill me now. I must have played that over 100 times every dang night in my room. David remains my forever crush.

3. "Paint it Black,” The Rolling Stones

I had grown up in a house of teen girls dancing to pop Top 100 Dick Clark on Saturday mornings, so in the 8^th grade, when my friend's older brother came home from college and would let us listen to his albums with him, my head spun from what I heard. This one, this one Oh Lord Here Come The Rolling Stones. Wild Horses, Mother's Little Helper, Under My Thumb, but Paint It Black spoke to me. Billy the college freshman probably had no idea that his music was the reason I stopped hating my straight hair and let it go frizzy and curly. Perfect for shaking back and forth to Mick and the gang.

I wanna see it painted, painted black

Black as night, black as coal
I wanna see the sun blotted out from the sky
I wanna see it painted, painted, painted, painted black

4. "Bang the Gong,” TRex

Another influence brought into my life by older friends. My high school boyfriend's older friend. The one I thought was so cool because he had his own room in the basement of his parents' house with 5 foot high speakers! Awesome, dude! How old are you? 21? And you have this cool room in your parents' house? Awesooooome! And all this cool music? Why haven't I ever heard it before? Anyway, this is one song that will always spell s-u-m-m-e-r to me. Young, free, dancing to TRex in Jeff's backyard while his parents were Up North. When I hear this today, it's sophomore year all over again.

5. "Radar Love,” Golden Earring

This embodies the making of mixtapes to woo. Stalkerish, not at all. I was dating someone else, but there was this one guy.... yes there was. And I would melt with the mixtapes he would send me. Radar Love was on one. Cue me falling into a puddle in my room with my cassette player next to my ear. But I couldn't break up with my steady boyfriend for a guy who knew the art of mixtapes? Could I? Oh - I was a fool, wasn't I? The power of music, to sway love.

6. "The Zoo,” The Scorpions

I had never heard of this German band until at a college party, when this song came on through speakers leaning out of a 2nd story flat. I also had never liked heavy metal, until this song came on. And then I didn't care if jazz was all the rage with everyone at college. From that night on, it was The Scorpions I wanted to dive into. I went against the tide, and I believe I was the first girl in college to finally stop pretending she liked jazz because the boys liked it. Maybe we were all pretending I don't know. But The Scorpions came into my life and so did the zebra cut up Tshirts, high heels, and poodle dog hair. I was in it. So if it was a house party singalong to Al Di Meloa or Al Jarreau or any other jazz Al, I was out of there. This puts the heavy, in heavy metal.

7. “Private Idaho,” B-52s

Learning at the hand of Cindy Wilson, Kate Pierson, the power of a sure move. There was a string of spring break vacations where with my trio of friends we would hit the dance club contests and request anything by the B52s. Sure, we made it look like we just decided to dance to the song that night but we had had hours of Saturday night house parties filled with dance move perfecting. With free all night drinks for best on the floor, stakes were high to bring out the moves. But no worries, Captain and cokes were on us every time, because we knew just when to take it to the floor with the B52s.

8. “Lose Yourself,” Eminem

As a poetry lover, this one drops the bombs. If you love a story, here you go. If you love the magic of being able to feel what someone of a different sex, decades younger than you, worlds apart, is talking about, this is the one. How does he do it? In 4 minutes, you know him- you feel the battle cry and you walk around like you've got Wonder Woman's cape on. How? That's Eminem. Yeah, I love him.

9. “Somewhere Down the Crazy River,” Robbie Robertson

Ah, how this works: poetry and a sultry beat. The combination here started a summer that I remember as saying screw what everyone else is doing. I am not them. This song kept me company. I was the one floating down the crazy river, no destination, but I knew I'd get somewhere, someday. This is one of the sexiest, most intriguing pieces of music you'll ever hear. This is one of the best songs you'll ever hear. And that man's voice? Makes it 100 degrees out in March, "too hot to sleep." Oh, I hear you, Robbie. No way I can ever keep my hands from swirling up over my head when I pull this one out.

10. “In Your Eyes,” Peter Gabriel

My husband is not a romantic, overtly expressive person. What he is is stable, dependable, humble, and sincere. But words from him are few. So when he played this song for me on one of our first weekends together, it nearly broke my heart with how much of him he wanted me to see. It still makes me teary eyed, how difficult it is to tell someone we care for them. I treasure this song. It says everything, especially when on a string of days of living a daily life.

11. "The Flame,” Cheap Trick

I began with ballads, and I'm circling back to them. Music will always center me and calm me, and this is the boss ballad of them all. The end of the 80s were a particularly introspective time for me. Love had been had, and lost, and I felt the pressure to adult. The summer of 1988 was when I had to make a decision about someone I had been seeing for over five years. I still dream about him. Life, preservation, survival, happiness, at times means we have to do what is the best for us, even when we don't want to. Is it torture to listen to it now as I write this? Only if deep memories kill you.

*BONUS: “Feel so Different,” Sinead O'Connor

Because of course, those moments when we get tired of being who we are and say 'time to grow up.' A lot of that involves forgiveness. That's where Sinead O'Connor talked me through. With her, I gave up the anger of the done me wrongs. And, yes, I feel so different. Know what? Move this one up to the top.

Was this fun to do? In a bittersweet way.

Was it more like stirring up old ghosts? Absolutely.
It was sweet, in a twingey prickly pain sort of way, to remember who I've been.

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For more “The Music That Made Me” be sure to hop over to:

Smacksy

Arnebya
The Flying Chalupa
Elizabeth McGuire
Elleroy Was Here
Midlife Mixtape
Up Popped a Fox
When Did I Get Like This?
I Miss You When I Blink
My Blog Can Beat Up Your Blog
Butterfly Confessions