My 7th grade habit of chewing on my thumbnail has come back. I can't quiet my mind down enough at night to fall into a sleep and during the day, I feel light headed and then I realize I can't remember the last time I heard myself breathe.
Who will be our president.
I want to exhale but I'm holding my breath instead. We've got someone in the lead who is more unpredictable than a loose cannon. At least a loose cannon has only one kind of ammunition and you know the damage it can do. Donald Trump is an arsenal that is beyond an armory -- he is nuclear.
There is no good side to Trump's campaign and I'm frightened. What will we do if he's elected. People love him, he could be elected. He's not going away, this could be our president.
I have been studying Trump's press to find out what it is that drives the hysteria machine to keep pushing this Republican presidential candidate in the lead. These are the very first words on the Trump website, "Donald J. Trump is the very definition of the American success story, continually setting the standards of excellence in business, real estate and entertainment." He says he wants to make America great again.
I know it won't be for me. He has called Hispanics rapists, murderers, drug dealers, job takers and that we arrive in this country with our hands out, waiting for Americans to hand us their hard-earned wages. I cry about this. I am the first American in my family. My mother had to wait ten years in the United States to become a citizen and in that time, she knew there was no guarantee. She worked hard, three jobs, and because of that, all of her six children work hard.
As for our palms splayed open awaiting American dollars, I will acknowledge that my family gratefully received food basket donations every year from Catholic Relief Services as my mother struggled to support six children as a young widow of 39 years old. Thank you, America. You are generous and kind.
Because of America's generosity, I received a merit-based state scholarship that paid my college tuition. I only had to worry about providing my own shelter and finding my own food. I could work and go to school, because of financial help with my education. Thank you, America. You are generous and kind.
My mother saved to bring herself and her three children to the United States because the world knows America as the land of opportunity. She wanted a chance at a good life and she knew America was what she wanted for her family. She didn't know she was barely two months pregnant with me when she arrived in Florida. Trump would call me an anchor baby.
All this name calling by him to so many people, he has forgotten we are human beings.
I worry if Donald Trump becomes president, and that thought has made me forget that America is good.
I remembered something tonight and now I know that if Trump were to win the election, our citizens wouldn't stand for his hate. We wouldn't abide, we wouldn't participate, we wouldn't stay quiet.
How can I worry about the what if of Donald Trump when there is a nation of United States citizens who will always do the right thing.
We will never stand for his decrees of exclusion and terror raising. We will stick to our strength: our positive call to action and our care for those who struggle.
The citizens of the United States will keep America a land of opportunity and shelter for those who have no home. Donald Trump is a test, and we won't fail it. It may get frightening, it may come close to near despair and he will try. Stirring up the violent energy of hate and anger, but America will be victorious.
We are overwhelmingly a kind nation. We are loving, we are wise. Donald Trump is tough, but we are tougher.
Tonight, I'm not going to forget about us as a people.
And I'm finally going to sleep better than I have since July.
* * *
I'm so concerned with and frightened by the "people love him." He's run before, and usually he's been out by now. This time is different. The people supporting him are different, or they're the same, just open with it, and I am afraid.
ReplyDeleteI was too, A. heart pounding panic every night. I have talked myself into what I've seen Americans do before. He won't happen. He won't/ the ugliness won't win. Believe that, friend.
DeletePersonally, I think he's working for the other side because he's making the rest of us that much more determined to elect a decent progressive. I feel the Bern.
ReplyDeleteThat thought flew through me for a second and then I decided, he's an egomaniac and just wants to prove he's number one. It wont last... reality will win.
DeleteI'm terrified. Here are a few things that gave me pause on my weekend trip to Eureka Springs, AR, this past weekend. 1) Driving past a house with three, count 'em, three Confederate flags in the window. 2) Reading tshirts in gift shops that said the 911 response time is 23 minutes and the handgun response time is less than one second. 3) Ammo art
ReplyDeleteBUT ...
1) The Eureka Springs holiday lights parade with at least thirty floats covered in Christmas lights and bursting with boombox carols and fake Elvises and every float had at least one small dog and they all threw real candy, the good kind. 2) The lady who made me a mix of aloe, sandalwood and grapefruit essential oils and showed me the basement of her historical building where they used to have a saloon AND a swimming pool just because she liked me. 3) The guy in the convenience store who told me the reason the baby Jesus set off an alarm for 45 minutes before the parade when a kid touched it was because last year a 70-year-old woman named Victoria stole the baby Jesus and had it popping up all over town before they finally caught her with video surveillance. 4) The wildlife refuge that rescued exotic pets from places like Predator World and a fraternity house and a man who thought a full-grown bear would make a good pet, and one of the lions was eighteen before he ever stood on grass for the first time and I saw him lying in the sun on his back, paws in the air, blissful.
The endless news cycle is bringing us a lot awful news, including every bit of hate-filled rhetoric spewing from Donald Trump's mouth, but it's up to us, the writers and the bloggers to point out the Christmas baskets and the hard-working mamas and the fun-loving senior citizens who are here, too. I don't think he can win, either, Alexandra.
I hear you. I hear you. But I'll tell you this, we have to not let him tear us apart. We have to come together and make things right and not let the loudest bullies win. Together, we are strong. I believe it.
DeleteI guess I keep hoping that if he wins the nomination, the voters will come out in record droves...to vote against him. What do his supporters know that leaves them able to walk with heads held high having no shame or embarassment?
ReplyDeleteAndrea, I was getting such dry mouthed panic, I had to level my head and take a deep breath. We won't allow this, we won't allow him. We won't.
DeleteDid your family come here legally or illegally? That is tantamount in this discussion. Anyway, the problem with your 'we are human beings' argument is that so is everyone else on the planet. Should everyone on the entire planet come live in the U.S.? Would that be sustainable? No. I know there are tons of great people coming to this country and working hard to do well, but there are also many coming illegally and for handouts. We are deporting people who first came here legally on silly technicalities while making little effort to keeping people from coming here illegally. How's that fair?
ReplyDelete