It's Awkward, It's Uncomfortable: Death

People don't know what to say to someone after they've lost someone they love.

It's easier at funerals, and wakes, I'm sorry. Is there anything I can do.

But time passes, and the loss never disappears. It's acceptable and expected to express condolences and memories at the time of death, but what about in the years after? When someone has died and an anniversary comes up: a birthday, a life event, a milestone in their life.

What do we say, when we don't want to make the wound fresh again?

I know that the last thing I want to do is re-fuel the pain of their loss. I fear that I will remind them of what they fight every day to live through. But my sister, Lee, who lost her son three years ago, told me, "I am so scared people will forget him. I worry no one will remember him and when I die, no one will know that he lived. He was here."

Today is my nephew's birthday. I remember him, I will always love him.

Lee, I promise you, I will always say his name:

Tomas Rosas Garrett.

http://www.gooddayregularpeople.com/2013/01/warrior-scholar.html